Being married thirty years – You’ve accomplished quite a lot
Independent to a fault – With a libido some would call hot
At Alexis’ 21st birthday party – You and Maria arrived late
There were jokes about why – The marks on Maria’s neck left nothing to debate!!
There was that time in college – You came home without telling a soul
Mom and dad were out of town – Linda and I were on patrol
While checking on the folk’s house – We saw two nude people in the bathroom
Apparently just out of the shower – What you were doing, I won’t presume!!
Remember the trip from New Mexico – Where you hit a bump in the road
But just kept on driving – With a coyotes head in your grill, ready to explode
Or when the state trooper tried to stop you – It took a half hour for him to pursue
And the judge saw you smirking – An afternoon in jail he gave to you!!
Your life has no urgency – When it comes to being on time
Except for the time “Leaping Lupe” – Almost turned into road slime
It’s hard to believe you were late – Even on your own wedding day
Maria and the Mariachi were waiting – I’m laughing, but what can I say!!
You do like adventure – A couple of times you’ve run with the bulls
You have the ability to be moody – With a mind that’s masterful
And when you tell a story – You just keep rambling on
Frank, people have lives to lead – Take the hint when they start to yawn!!
But all in all we love you – And understand your eccentric ways
Intellectually you’re probably a genius – With a conscience no one can phase
You have a wonderful family – Crystal and Angela, whom you adore
So Frank & Maria, happy anniversary – Maria, aren’t you glad Frank’s not a bore!!