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The Today Show!! Written in 2001
May 26, 2015
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I’ve got an issue with Dell – But they won’t respond

So I’m making one last attempt – Then it’s to the Internet and beyond

This isn’t about the product – I like it just fine

It’s about the Customer Service – It’s not worth a dime!!

When you have an issue – There’s one mantra they yell

I don’t have the authority – But a Supervisor I’ll tell

They’ll call you for certain – And it won’t be very long

48 to 72 hours – It’s the same old song!!

At first I was hopeful – Believing the big lie

Then nobody calls – And I start to wonder why

Is it because I’m pushy – Yes, I guess I am

When I think I’ve been wronged – I just don’t give a damn!!

I know you keep notes – Of every call a rep takes

And if someone gets pushy – You’re labeled one of the Flakes

So the impression I’m getting – Is Dell just doesn’t care

The Customer Rep makes the decision – And the Supervisors aren’t there!!

Well, I’m getting the last say – And spreading the word about Dell

If you have a Customer Service problem – There’s no one to tell

And it’s really too bad – For the Inspiron 8100 I like

But if you have a problem – You can go take a HIKE!!

So I’m not lying down – To the internet I’ll post

So the world can find out – That Dell Computer is not the perfect host

And in three years or so – When a new computer is due

Dell will be out of the running – Your Customer Service didn’t come through!!

So what do I want – Just a supervisor to call

I want what I was promised – It’s really kinda small

A chance to state my case – Which is not a big deal

You can do what you like – This is my last appeal!!

Now this is getting funny – I just got an email

From Dell Computer no less – Now listen to this tail

How was our service – And would you like to buy more

I got a scanner from someone else – Do I need to say more!!

It’s been almost 9 months – And still no one has called

Just think if I weren’t patient – Can you tell I’m not enthralled

I’ve tried to reach Michael – But that’s no easy feat

I just bought an extra screen – Not from Dell, I’m more discreet!!

My only advice friends – Buying from Dell could get you hurt

If you have a complaint – They treat you like dirt

The equipment works fine – But don’t file a complaint  they ain’t!!

I spent over $2800 – And there’s one thing that I like

The warranty is outsourced – So Dell computer can take a hike

They still send me emails – But no one will give me a call

And I respond to each email – Telling Dell they have some GALL!!

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